were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
