My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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