If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize