I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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