just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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