Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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