Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
