i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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