i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
