What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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