Umm I'm too high to move.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So much Jack, so little girl.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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