direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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