A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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