East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
