when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
