do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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