Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
