whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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