His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
