Where is the hickey?
false alarm. still invincible.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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