I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
bring money and cleavage
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize