You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
