also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
