Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
