the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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