Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
