I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize