i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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