did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This gyro tastes like lonliness
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
