After last night, I could never be a politician.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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