i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize