I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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