Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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