Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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