Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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