she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
