He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
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You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
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Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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