she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.