Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
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i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.