Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.