i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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