I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize