end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
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I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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