Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
