all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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