i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
