Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
