One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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