My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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