you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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