When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
