the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
