matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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