Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you win again, gameday.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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