my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So squirting runs in the family.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
