So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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