he shaved USA in his pubs
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
