The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
