thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
